Welcome to this edition of Monday Magic. While coaches don’t often talk about it, positive self regard is one of those healthy core concepts that we like to see in our clients. Positive self regard is not a tricky concept; it basically means being happy with yourself. You like what you see when you look in a mirror. It doesn’t mean that you see yourself as perfect but it does mean that you see yourself as worthwhile.
Without this healthy self concept, coaching becomes very difficult. The person you are coaching doesn’t see herself as instrumental in changing what happens and, even if change can happen, often doesn’t feel that she deserves it. Nicki Keohohou talks about this concept as the “inner critic” in the second edition of Principle Centered Coaching and offers some great ideas for getting past it. This week’s Monday Magic post offers some additional strategies for coping with an inner critic.
Quiet Your Inner Critic. One of the newest coaching centers is the Harvard/McLean Institute of Coaching, which is particularly interested in evidence based coaching and the health field. Susan David describes how the inner critic can affect even the most successful executives and offers three steps to push through.
Conquer Self Doubt. Alexandra Levit offers five great ways to beat back the doubts. They each have some merit. I especially like the breadth of the list. There is something there that everybody should be able to use.
Defeat Blue Monday. Heather Bestel swears that January 18 is the worst Monday in the UK. Frankly, the long winter days can push anybody into the blues. Do you need a strategy for not taking winter doldrums personally? Heather’s Top Ten Tips may help turn the trick.
Beat Back Perfectionism. For someone who is a recovering perfectionist, the inner critic can be a real buzz kill. Turn that perfectionism on yourself and you can struggle getting out of bed. April Dykman has some great ideas on how self study can face down those perfectionist tendencies by giving you the opportunity to see the other side.
On behalf of the authors of the DSWA Coaching Center, we urge you to subscribe to the blogs that you find worthwhile. If you are a blog neophyte, the process isn’t painful. Most blogs, like this one, offer you an opportunity to subscribe by email. If you are just starting, choose that option and when something new is posted, it will show up in your inbox. If the article isn’t working for you, hit delete and wait for the next one. Not every post will touch your head, heart or hands, but none ever will without your initial click.
We’d love to hear your reactions to these references. Pick one, read it, and offer a comment. How do you control debilitating self doubts? Share it in a comment or even a guest post. Get Free Updates to the DSWA Coaching Center by Email here or via an RSS reader in the top right sidebar. We would love to have you on board.
About the Author: Neil Phillips is Director of the DSWA Coach Excellence program and founding partner of Team Connections. Get more from Neil on his Direct Selling Notebook and Twitter.
